White fragility is the result of a basic conflict that exists for most white people in the United States, especially those who identify as more progressive. Even as young children, white people are socialized into white superiority. This, combined with most white people’s “moral objection to racism” (108), leads them to deny any complicity with white supremacy. In other words, white people internalize white supremacist values, yet also learn to refute any participation in white supremacy. Challenging any aspect of this dynamic provokes white fragility.

DiAngelo argues that white fragility “distorts reality” (110), causing white people to react with anything from defensiveness to violent language to refocusing attention on themselves. White people “retreat from the discomfort of authentic racial engagement […] perpetuat[ing] a cycle that keeps racism in place” (111). Instead, white people should learn through this discomfort, rather than retreating or avoiding it. This is the only way that true anti-racism work can begin.

When white people feel challenged about whiteness and racism, they respond with a range of emotions and behaviors: White people might feel “attacked, silenced, shamed…judged, angry, scared” (119) and might act out by “crying, physically leaving, emotionally withdrawing, [or] arguing” (119).