During a rough crossing over the English Channel on a ferry, passengers from cosmopolitan English society have each prepared a different cure for seasickness. A Christian evangelist named Mrs. Melrose Ape travels with a bevy of young women, each named after a Christian virtue, in a touring show; she implores them to begin singing if they feel queasy. A young pair named Miles Malpractice and Agatha Runcible tape their stomachs, while a pair of well-heeled middle-aged women named Throbbing and Blackwater drink champagne to cure their seasickness. They gossip about the sexual proclivities of fellow passenger Walter Outrage, who recently retired from his job as Prime Minister.

Young novelist Adam Fenwick-Symes boards at the last minute, carrying in his luggage a completed manuscript and several books. He meets Father Rothschild, who recognizes him and congratulates him on his recent engagement to Nina Blount. He warns Adam to avoid Mrs. Ape. As predicted, everyone suffers through seasickness for the duration of the journey—except for the crew, who declare they are happy with the uneventful, smooth sailing and clear weather. Adam, mostly unaffected by the movement of the ship, plays cards and endures a conversation with a dull journalist.