Throughout the novel, individual desires and motivations are contrasted with the pressures of social norms. This theme is introduced early on through Mr. Cheong’s critiques of Yeong-hye, who is “unusual” (13) because she doesn’t ever wear a bra. Later, when her behavior becomes more publicly bizarre, Mr. Cheong wonders, frustrated, whether she could “even recognize the situation for what it was” (33). Yeong-hye’s vegetarianism crosses the line of what is acceptable socially and leads her down a path to take further actions deemed wrong by her peers. In-hye later reflects on this, feeling that she is “unable to forgive that magnificent irresponsibility that had enabled Yeong-hye to shuck off social constraints and leave her behind, still a prisoner” (148). In-hye finds herself trapped as a “prisoner” to social constraints while her sister has completely “shuck[ed]” off society’s expectations. 

Several other characters also show the tension of having to choose between their own wishes and what society wants. The brother-in-law frequently references what he is supposed to do, like going home to his wife and child, yet instead chooses to stay out at all hours of the night; eventually, this leads him to have sex with his sister-in-law, one of the ultimate societal taboos.