Content Warning: This section of the guide discusses death by suicide, sexual violence, trauma, self-harm, misogyny, gender essentialism, and cult activity.

Throughout the novel, Shay is sensitive to the power dynamics within relationships and discrete interactions. Early in the novel, Shay says that “every time I saw two people, I saw a scale, tipping this way and that” (15), noting that, in her marriage, Cal holds the power, as Shay is no longer contributing to the finances of the marriage. Shay resents the power imbalance within their marriage, which leaves her feeling “useless” and alienated; even her home has become a reminder of Cal’s financial power. However, in exploring her childhood, Shay reveals another source of power: sexuality. Pageants allow Shay to take control of her own objectification. She reasons that men are “already looking,” and, by drawing attention to herself, “maybe [she]’ll be in control” (234). Shay’s brief involvement with Dizzy, in which she rewards him with kisses for his compliments, further illustrates how she uses her sexuality to bend men to her will. She relishes the way men will change themselves and their behavior to please her, which makes her feel powerful but makes her relationships feel empty. When Jamie asserts that he doesn’t care whether Shay is manipulating him, Shay realizes how meaning can be found in sharing her true self, instead of simply manipulating others.