Eli believes that it is his fault that Eddy died, after being left behind during the trip to the Compound. Eli describes himself as “getting good at cold and detached. Too good” (67). During his life in the Compound, he goes to great lengths to avoid emotional bonding with his family, and particularly with the Supplements. All positive emotions or sensations eventually remind him of his role in Eddy’s absence.

More than once, Eli describes himself as being unworthy of love and physical touch. When he tells his mother about the night he lured Eddy away with the kitten, she tells him, “You’ve always been worthy” and that “Children make mistakes” (177). This is a hard lesson for Eli to take, given that life in the Compound cannot afford mistakes: the food sources are drying up, Rex is poisoned (seemingly accidentally), and the family is on the road to cannibalism or collapse. Of course, the food supply is Eli’s responsibility, which adds to his feelings of guilt that his failure may be the cause of resorting to cannibalism.

Eli’s shame manifests in his inability to handle touch, which makes it easier for him to avoid bonding.