At the beginning of the play, Pyrgopolynices’s minions carry his “monstrous shield” (3). Pyrgopolynices waxes poetic about his shield, ordering his servants to “shine a shimmer on that shield of mine surpassing sunbeams— – when there are no clouds, of course” (3). The shield is both overblown and clean. A shield that requires several men to carry it would likely be useless in battle. And the purpose of a shield is not to sparkle and impress onlookers— – it exists to take the blows that it’s bearer receives in battle. Of course, Pyrgopolynices’s shield is unused. He speaks of his blade as if it is a sentient being, declaring, “Ah me, I must give comfort to this blade of mine lest he lament and yield himself to dark despair. Too long ere now has he been sick of his vacation. Poor lad! He’s dying to make mincemeat of the foe” (3).

When Artotrogus regales Pyrgopolynices with tales of the soldier’s fictional exploits, however, the blade and shield are not present in the stories. The parasite tells the soldier of the time he “puffed away […] legions with a single breath” (3), punched an elephant in India, and how in Cappadocia, he “would have slain five hundred with one blow— – except [his] blade was dull” (4).