The Art of Gathering resists the notion that a gathering’s host(s) should be carefree and hands-off, or what it calls “chill,” which Parker defines as “selfishness disguised as kindness” (71). While the compulsion to put guests at ease and make them comfortable is extremely strong, Parker turns this notion on its head, insisting that it is the host’s obligation to confidently take charge and make guests do something—even if this means that at times they feel slightly uncomfortable. Leading a gathering in this way, she argues, means that it is purposeful and impactful, and will make a meaningful impression on attendees. Parker again supplies several anecdotes as evidence for her argument, describing instances like a group of organizers putting their foot down when some of a group’s members wanted to attend a policy meeting at a conference, but not the mandatory intimate dinner the night before.

Parker proposes the concept of “generous authority” as an alternative to chill hosting (80). An authoritative host, Parker argues, does not simply end their job at introductions. Instead, they recognize that they must guide their guests all the way through the gathering, “enforce” the event’s guidelines and

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