47 pages 1 hour read

Laura Nowlin

If Only I Had Told Her

Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2024

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Themes

The Pain of Unrequited and Requited Love

If Only I Had Told Her is an unusual love story in that the characters who are in love admit their feelings early in the novel. Both Finn and Autumn initially believe that their feelings are unreciprocated, but their confessions in Chapters 9 and 10 seem to resolve this conflict. However, Finn’s death shortly afterward introduces a new dimension of pain to Autumn’s feelings, suggesting that even requited love can hurt.

Finn’s love for Autumn is the catalyst for the tragedy of Part 1. Finn has always been in love with Autumn, and he has always compared every girl that he meets to her. Though Finn still finds Autumn’s companionship pleasurable, he also suffers considerably due to it. After reading Autumn’s novel, for example, he concludes that Autumn knows about his love and used it to write a book, which makes him resentful and distrustful: “But she knew the truth. She observed my love and served it up to me, fictionally requited” (75). Autumn has also been struggling with her feelings, to the extent that she weaves them into her novel as an outlet. When Autumn and Finn finally bare their hearts to one another and find the other equally in love, it is therefore wonderful for them.