Gay describes her twenties as a difficult decade because she gravitated toward people who disrespected her; she did not think she deserved better treatment. Her family continued to worry about her body and express concerns about her health. Their insistence on weight loss caused Gay to refuse—punishment for their “failure” to accept her. In truth, she was inflicting punishment on herself.

Gay notes that “When you’re overweight, your body becomes a matter of public record in many respects” (120). People treat those with fat bodies as if they are ignorant and unaware of themselves. Some people frame this behavior as being concerned for a person who happens to be fat, forgetting that human beings are much more than their physical forms. Public alarm over America’s “obesity epidemic,” fatphobic reality shows like The Biggest Loser, and advertising for fat-free and low-calorie foods that specifically target women all exemplify this attitude: “What does it say about our culture that the desire for weight loss is considered a default feature of womanhood?” (137).

Celebrated talk show host Oprah Winfrey and her struggle to lose weight embody this “default feature” for women. In 2015, Winfrey purchased a 10 percent stake in the company Weight Watchers despite being “the woman who brought us the idea of living our best life, of becoming our most authentic selves” (138).