Note: Whenever Mallory is looking at one of Teddy’s drawings, the drawing is typically shown in the book.

Nineteen-year-old Mallory Quinn recalls when she volunteered for a research study at the University of Pennsylvania. Before it was her turn, she put an Oxycontin pill in her mouth, sucked on it enough to feel an effect, and then saved it in her purse for later. Next, Mallory was blindfolded in a room with five men. She was supposed to raise her hand whenever she felt the “male gaze” as the men looked at her (2). Five minutes passed as she raised her hand. They repeated the experiment three times and then applauded before informing Mallory that she was the first of hundreds of women to score with 97% accuracy. Mallory explained to the researchers that she heard a buzzing sound when she was being watched. She agreed to come back, but that afternoon, she traded her phone for more Oxycontin pills and never heard from the researchers again.

Now 21 years old and 18 months sober, Mallory can’t find records of the research study’s existence. Her recovery sponsor, Russell, says false memories are common in addicts.