Sedaris uses an allusion to a crime show/spy thriller—the common diction, vernacular, and imagery—in his essay to convey his experience in a relatable way. The very first line begins the allusion: “Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office” (1). Sedaris draws in his audience, as he knows that the spy lexicon is widely understood. Sedaris uses this language to paint Agent Samson as a cold, calculating manipulator out to condemn an innocent victim. Even the classroom is portrayed as a small, windowless interrogation room where bloodstains have most likely been covered up. Through this allusion, Sedaris compares the familiar feelings of tension, anxiety, and nervousness that typify a spy thriller to his plight as a fifth-grade student in speech therapy.

The central conflict of the essay is David versus Agent Samson. David is the innocent 10-year-old who has a lisp and is just trying to hide his sexuality and live his life. Samson is the inexperienced speech therapist who’s trying to “correct” the lisps of the students she works with.