Content Warning: This section of the guide describes and discusses the novel’s depictions of graphic violence, alcohol use disorder, death, sexual assault, and systemic racism.

Alexandra Fuller’s paradoxical relationship with her identity is a central theme in her memoir, shaping the portrayal of her childhood and her sense of self. Despite being born in England, Fuller’s formative years in Africa have profoundly shaped who she is. However, her upbringing in Africa is not without complications. Unable to define herself with a single, clear label, Fuller negotiates the disconnect she feels between her racial and national affiliations and her attachment to Africa.

Fuller nostalgically depicts Africa as her childhood home and evokes a deep sense of belonging to the land: “I fly home from university at least once a year […] I want to open my arms into the sweet familiarity of home” (287). Her descriptions of landscapes, wildlife, and cultural richness are filled with fondness and nostalgia. Thus, the very act of writing the memoir becomes a crucial part of her identity negotiation, serving as a platform for her to unpack the layers of her identity: “White,” “African,” “White-African” (10). Her return to childhood through writing isn’t merely a revisiting of the past, but a recognition of its influence on her present self.