31 pages 1 hour read

Peggy Orenstein

Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2020

A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.

Important Quotes

Quotation Mark Icon

"Anything that smacks of 'girliness'—in oneself, in other boys, and, of course, by actual girls—must be concealed, ridiculed, or rejected."


(Chapter 1, Page 13)

Cultural messaging conditions teenage boys to be emotionally inexpressive. Vulnerability is associated with femininity, and is thus rejected by boys whose primary goal is to become a "real man."

Quotation Mark Icon

"There is no difference at birth between boys' and girls' need for connection, nor, neurologically, in their capacity for empathy—there's actually some evidence that infant boys are the more expressive sex."


(Chapter 1, Page 15)

There is not a scientific, biological explanation for why boys are expected to suppress their emotions, and yet the messaging remains. While both boys and girls have a need for emotional outlets that allow them to process their feelings, only girls are given full cultural license to acknowledge and deal with their emotions.

Quotation Mark Icon

"Emodiversity—being able to experience a broad sweep of emotions, positive as well as negative—is crucial to adults' emotional and physical health."


(Chapter 1, Page 16)

While emotional transparency is necessary for personal growth, boys often avoid acknowledging emotions that have to do with sorrow or fear, as these emotions imply weakness and vulnerability.