Noticing Sam avoiding Gilly the day after he slept with her, a Summer Islands woman approaches him on the ship. She tells him that “there is no shame in loving” and “if your septons say there is, your seven gods must be demons” (595). Here, a more liberated attitude toward sex is contrasted with that which predominates in Westeros. Sam was raised to believe that sex outside of marriage, or for any other goal than procreation, is immoral. These values are enforced by strict social censure of deviance and an internalized culture of shame. This is shown in the opprobrium directed at Margaery when she is suspected to have had an affair. In its most extreme form, this attitude manifests in groups which take vows of chastity. As seen with Sam and the Night’s Watch and Ser Arys and the Kingsguard, this involves a promise to renounce sex altogether for “duty” (214). It also means strong feelings of self-loathing and shame when, as happens with both characters, they break those vows.

However, this does not apply to everyone. In A Feast for Crows, the moral and sexual standards expected of most people and groups like the Night’s Watch, contrast markedly with the behavior of elites.